I can’t believe I did not write a single post in 2017. This was one of my toughest year as far as I remember. The year began with my brother’s wedding getting called off a month before his wedding. It was very devastating for him and my entire family. We had already booked our tickets for India and my PTO was approved so I went ahead with the plan. I had taken 3 weeks of vacation but couldn’t really enjoy as I was waiting foe HPT after my 3 rd IUI. I was very positive since I had 4 follices but unfortunately it was a BFN. I spent 1.75 weeks at my parents house in Ratnagiri. I did not really sightsee or shop becuase I was niether  in the mood too nor did I spent a lot of time in Mumbai doing things I like and meeting people I really care about. My parents were happy to see me since that was the family time we were spending after the wedding being called off. I was happy to be home and see the renovations that were being done in the anticipation of the wedding. Soon after I reached Ratnagiri my brother had to leave for US as he had to start his job earlier than the joining date since he received his work permit. I spent time just bring home and with my parents and we were back to the US on March 3rd 2017. My in-laws planned to visit us in early April until June 1 st week. Soon after I came back to US and started work , I was required to undergo laparoscopic myomectomy. I remember taking general anesthesia for it and was in pain right after the surgery in the recovery. I did fairly well on pain meds giving to me in the hospital and I returned home the next day on May 19th. The next 3 weeks were spent home recovering from the surgery. I was in pain quite a lot than I ever imagined. I had to take pain meds but I remember that every single move was quite difficult including sleeping on the bed, sitting, taking a shower, using a restroom etc. Laughing and sneezing made my stomach hut the most. By the end of week 3rd I still had pain on the right stitch on my abdomen. It took me 4-5 weeks to recover completely but had returned to work in 3 weeks. After coming back from my India trip and going on my medical leave I studied hard and passed my CDE exam. I passed the CDE exam before undergoing the surgery in first week of May 2017. I was quite happy to have passed it in my first attempt. Around the time of my surgery things started going bitter at work as I required time off for my surgery and medical treatment. I managed to sail through it due to the support of my co-workers. I went on a trip during Jul 4th weekend to Glacier National Park which was beautiful and a “must-go” but had a dreadful experience while Kayaking in the McDonald lake where I got caught helping my husband whose Kayak toppled and the current kept getting stronger. Luckily, Aditya reached the shore and saved us via resuce boat. I will never forget the help extended to us by this young guy from NJ who was on a vacation who kept us calm throughout the situation and two other white people who hung around our kayak to help us. God bless them always!

Soon after my in-laws left, my parents came to stay with me and support me with my IUI and IVF’s. I was scheduled to undergo my first IVF in August which ended up getting converted to IUI as the doctor thought I had a good chance at it after my surgery. It failed to my dismay. I couldn’t proceed the next cycle due to the cyst and so just decided to spend the time with my parents. I then attempted a IVF cycle again in Oct-November which was converted to IUI due to poor response. I was devastated but at the same time kind of relived that I did not have to keeping taking 4 shots a day. I am admist the 2ww and 5 days away from finding out if the cycle worked or didn’t. I am probably getting pre-menstrual cramps as I am typing but have decided to have positive thoughts this time around as I am hoping for a BFP. I have also decided to move on and stop trying to get pregnant. It is a extremely stressful journey and I don’t think I have the spirit to continue fighting and picking myself up together after every failed attempt. I also do not enjoy the shots, the side-effects, bloating , weight gain , 2 ww that comes with the treatment and the cycle. On the work front, I am finding the job monotonus and boring due to seeing back to back patients and constant communication. I am incredibly grateful to have had a job through this year to keep me strong and going inspite of having disappointments at a personal front. I have been fed up with the management and not being valued at work. I do get a variety of diagnosis and not only weight loss but I am finding my energy gets drained when I constantly communicate with people all day. I also beginning to think of what would I like to accomplish in the next 8 years. My husband is already in the process of finding a new job and I am excited for him as always. I am hoping to get back to my happy, carefree life soon with or without the expected outcome from this cycle. It may be a good idea for me to revisit my blog post on “30 things to do before reaching 30” and it might me a good idea to make another list :)